


Despair

by BlaCkreed4



Series: Kinkmas 2018 [23]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Orgasm Control, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, shiro suffers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 13:17:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17122088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlaCkreed4/pseuds/BlaCkreed4
Summary: Shiro has a pressing problem and needs help. Keith is the only one who could help him deal with it.





	Despair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chiapslock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiapslock/gifts).



> Written for the kinkmas challenge, prompt: the sweetest milk! You can always tell which character is my favourite because: A) he's the villain; or B) I make him suffer the most, like in this case.  
> This is a sequel to my other fic Restraints, which you can find here: https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/39937533  
> It's a gift for my dear friend Chiapslock who loves seeing Shiro suffer and has endorsed me when I mentioned this idea XD

Shiro had tried his best to solve his problem alone. Oh, he had tried so hard! But it was useless, he needed help. And there was only one person he could ask: Keith.

He hesitated in front of his door for a few minutes before resolving that he had to do it. He entered and locked the door, marching straight to the other’s bed. He could see his sleeping figure in the dim light and he felt guilty for the fact that he was about to wake him up.

He sat beside Keith on the bed, gently shaking his shoulder.

-Keith, I need your help.- he said with a shaky voice.

The boy woke up and looked at him with worry.

-What happened? Are we under attack?- he asked as he sat up.

-No, don’t worry. It’s more… personal.-

Shiro looked away, making the other worry even more.

-What is it, Shiro? I’ll help you with anything.- Keith offered immediately.

The man bit his lower lip and whispered to himself.

-How am I going to explain this…-

He took a deep breath, keeping his eyes on his hands while talking.

-The galra… they didn’t just take my arm…- he opened and closed his robotic hand. –They have… they have taken my… my pleasure.- he grimaced in disgust at his own explanation.

-What do you mean? How can I help you?- Keith leaned towards him, taking his hand with his.

Shiro froze at that contact before relaxing enough to speak.

-There’s a… a device in my body… and… and it prevents me from…- he hid his face with his free hand. –I’m such a bad person for asking this to you…-

Keith had never been so worried; seeing Shiro like that was terribly upsetting.

-No, you’re not a bad person! Tell me what’s wrong, I’ll help you find a solution! Please, trust me!-

-I can’t orgasm, Keith.- Shiro confessed in a whisper. –No matter how much I touch myself or how deep I push my fingers, I can’t come unless I get “mounted”, as they used to say.-

Keith was puzzled for a moment at that explanation, but when he understood rage built up in his chest.

-Those bastards! I’m going to kill them all!- he growled.

Shiro laughed bitterly.

-It won’t be useful for my problem.-

He suddenly stood up, turning his back to the other.

-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you about it. I’m so ashamed I even thought about it. I won’t harass you anymore.-

-Wait!-

Keith grabbed his hand, but he didn’t pull him back.

-I want to help you! You’ll just have… to tell me what to do.-

Shiro looked surprised when he turned his head.

-Do you understand what it means?-

Keith nodded, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest.

-We’ll… we’ll have sex.- he hoped that the dim light hid his blush. –I’m ready, it’s just that… it’s my first time.-

Only when Shiro sat back beside him he noticed that he had a bulge in his trousers.

-I don’t want you to feel obligated because I asked you, Keith. This is something special, you should treasure it for someone you love.- the man whispered in a sweet tone.

Keith shook his head.

-I’m not feeling obligated or anything. I want to do it. I… I always had a crush on you.- he chuckled in embarrassment, looking sideways.

Shiro caressed his cheek, gently making him look at him again. He had a sweet smile on his face, an expression that made Keith’s heart skip a beat.

-I like you too.- the black paladin replied. –That’s why I asked you in the first place. But it’s not right, I should g…-

He couldn’t finish his sentence because Keith closed the distance between them and kissed him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

Shiro froze in surprise, but his body reacted before he could understand what was going on: he reciprocated, hugging the other tight.

They panted lightly when they let go, looking at each other in the eyes.

-If you want to stop…- Shiro tried to say.

-I don’t.- Keith interrupted him.

-But if you change your mind…-

-I won’t.-

-If you do I want you to know that I’ll stop as soon as you tell me, ok? It doesn’t matter what we’ll be doing, I want you to know that I won’t force you in any way. Just tell me, ok?-

Keith nodded before kissing him again. He had his eyes closed, but he could feel the other move and straddle his legs, carefully avoiding to weigh on him. He felt his chest pressed against his and he wrapped his arms around Shiro’s waist.

The man rubbed their crotches together, separating from Keith’s lips to sigh in pleasure. His member hadn’t softened much since he had left his room and that renewed friction immediately hardened it again.

-Keith…- he called, pressing his forehead against the other’s. –If you want to stop…-

-No. I already told you, I’m ready. Just lead me.-

The boy moaned as his erection grew in his pyjamas.

Shiro removed his t-shirt, but he hesitated to place his hands on Keith.

The latter took his own shirt off, his hands shaking a bit from the emotion when he took the other’s hands to pull him closer and kiss him again.

Shiro pulled away after a bit, lightly panting.

-Keith, we should… we should take off our pants.-

The red paladin nodded, waiting for the other to stand up before quickly undress and cover himself with the sheet. He was embarrassed to be seen completely naked and excited, even if the light was dim.

Shiro smiled reassuringly, straddling his legs again before taking Keith’s hands to put them on his own chest.

Keith’s eyes had quickly looked at the black paladin’s uncovered erection before raising to his hands on his chest and further up to his face.

-It’s ok if you’re not sure anymore. We can stop.- Shiro reassured him, caressing his cheek tenderly.

Keith shook his head.

-Stop saying that. I’m sure, I want to do it. I want to help you. I want this.-

-I know you, Keith, you wouldn’t admit it if you wanted to stop. That’s why I keep checking on you.-

The red paladin grabbed Shiro’s cheeks and pulled him closer to briefly kiss him.

-I promise I’ll tell you if I wanted to stop, ok? Now stop asking.-

They held each other tight, resuming their kissing and rubbing, moaning in pleasure.

-Keith, I…- Shiro panted after a while. –I need more…-

He sounded as if he was apologizing, which made Keith feel guilty because he didn’t notice.

-Tell me what to do.- the latter asked.

-Hold back for a bit.-

Shiro leaned towards the floor and took a condom from his trousers’ pocket. He opened the package and grabbed the sheets’ edge, looking hesitantly at Keith.

When the latter nodded and closed his eyes, Shiro uncovered his erection and put the condom on him.

Keith moaned at that light touch, blushing. It was the first time someone had touched him like that, and knowing it was Shiro… he didn’t know for how much longer he could hold back.

The black paladin kissed him gently before holding the other’s erection to impale himself.

They both moaned and Keith hugged Shiro tight, his eyes still shut for the embarrassment.

The man shivered and sighed when he stopped with his hips against the other’s. He had spent a while using his fingers before giving up and going to Keith that he was still lubed and ready.

-Shiro…- the red paladin moaned his name, looking up at him.

-Yes?-

Shiro felt his heart sink in fear it would be too much for Keith and he wanted to stop. He felt guilty for his selfish reaction, but he had been desperate for days and he was finally close to getting what he needed…

-Can… can we kiss again? I… I like it.- the boy asked in embarrassment.

-Of course. Anything you want.-

The black paladin smiled tenderly before fulfilling his request, his heart lightening. It was going well so far.

As soon as he started to move his hips Keith was unable to hold his voice back: he moaned loudly and uncontrollably, shivering every time Shiro lowered on him.

The latter panted and moaned, using the other’s shoulders to keep himself balanced as he moved gradually faster.

-Touch me.- he begged the other after a while.

He threw his head back  and gasped, trembling from head to toe as soon as Keith hesitantly grabbed his erection to masturbate him.

The red paladin felt his heart skip a beat at that sight. Shiro was so handsome that he felt a surge of pleasure that made him fear he would come too soon.

The man leaned onto the other, panting against his ear when he started to move again, faster than before.

Keith moved his hand accordingly, trying to mimic his pace. Shiro’s excited voice against his ear made him shiver and moan louder, uncontrollably thrusting his hips high.

-Shiro… Shiro, I’m…- he tried to warn him.

-Hold back… some more… please…- the other begged him, panting.

He wrapped his hand around Keith’s, guiding it in order to take more pleasure.

His moans were loud and his movements fast, making it hard for the boy to obey.

In the end Keith came first, crying out the black paladin’s name.

He collapsed against Shiro’s chest as the latter moved frantically for a few more seconds, finally being able to reach his orgasm. Flashes of galra guards laughing at him, or insulting him, or simply grunting as they fucked him passed before his eyes and made him tense up for a second. He unloaded in their hands, moaning loudly and shivering from head to toe before relaxing.

They were panting heavily, tired but satisfied.

When the post orgasm started to fade Keith hugged Shiro tight and caressed his back with his clean hand.

Shiro sighed in pleasure, hugging him back.

-Did you… like it?- he said as soon as he had caught enough breath.

Keith nodded, placing his hand on the other’s cheek to make him look at him. He smiled.

-I liked it.- he reassured him.

The black paladin smiled back, sighing in relief. He took Keith’s hand and kissed it before kissing him again.

-Thank you, Keith.-

-I’m always here for you, Shiro.-

The red paladin yawned, sleepiness crushing into him like a truck.

Shiro made him lay down, getting up and taking a tissue to clean him up.

-Stay here? Please?- Keith asked, his eyes already half-closed as he blindly moved his hand in the air to reach for him.

Shiro took it and kissed it.

-Good night, Keith.- he simply answered.

The red paladin mumbled something about that not being a proper answer as he fell asleep.

Shiro carefully cleaned him and put his pyjamas back on him, then he covered him with the sheets.

He wore his own clothes, his hands shaking uncontrollably, and he run away.

He locked himself in his room, grabbing his head and collapsing on the floor, his back pressed against the door.

Unpleasant memories of every time the galra had abused him passed before his eyes, uncountable voices calling him a whore, a bitch, a slave, an animal as they laughed at him or groaned in pleasure in his ears. He felt their hands on him, their smell in his nose, the salty and bitter taste of their or his own semen when they forced him to drink it up. He felt disgustingly dirty, something not even many boiling hot showers could wash away.

He sobbed as the galra taunted him, always reminding him that any pleasure he was taking was a gift from them, his masters and owners, that he was but a mere toy for them.

As those memories haunted him a new voice scolded him:

_How could you do something so disgusting? How could you take advantage of Keith and his feelings for you?_

I was desperate! I asked him for help! He wanted to help me!

_Would he have helped you if you hadn’t asked? Would he have had his first time with you?_

He didn’t know how to reply to that.

_You’re disgusting. You’re a bad person. How dare you call yourself a paladin of justice?_

He cried even more when he recognized that voice: it was his own.


End file.
